i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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