The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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