You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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