Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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