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just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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