She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
