he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize