what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize