Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
