Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
