remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
