so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
