She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
