dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you told grandpa to call you daddy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
