Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
