Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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