why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
