I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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