billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize