True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
