dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
