dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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