They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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