try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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