belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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