The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
