I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
