So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
