Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
