I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
