I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
