About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
