At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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