sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is not my ceiling
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
