Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
