There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
