Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
