i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize