Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
