oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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