I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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