real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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