I love black thongs
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
