He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
