Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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