no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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