Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
