you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
