dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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