the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
