so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
