He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
