i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize