Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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