I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
