he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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