I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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