did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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