Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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