I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
